FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
We at Horses Cut Shop hate questions but we love you, so we're torn about this whole FAQ thing. Our goal is to make you comfortable enough in your bathing suit area to do business with us on a regular basis. That said we're gonig to tell you pretty much everything you need to know and then some. Honesty is not only the best policy, it is usually the most fool proof way to get into someone pants that aren't your own. OK. Enough of the loose talk. Let's go.
Q. WHAT THE ...?
ANSWER - We sell t-shirts. Specifically our t-shirts screen printed with other people's logos. All our logos are from from real, honest-to-goodness places around America. When you buy a shirt, part of the proceeds go back to that business in the form of a royalty payment which we make every three months. The rest of the proceeds go to pay for motels, gas, lawyers, the occasional foot rub and the guy who makes the website work.
Q. HOW THE ...?
ANSWER - We scour the country in search of cool local businesses. We talk to people and they tell us stories about the place they frequented or the great one they passed by. Our secret lies in choosing our marks based on a complicated formula that includes eye contact, honesty, love and our word. All the rest is just details as once inside this family of RiffRaff we are bonded for life.
Q. WHY THE ...?
ANSWER - Because local heroes matter. People who make things with soul matter. People who build community matter. These places, these bars and taverns, bait shops and tattoo parlors, crab shacks and coffee houses, they make up the American tapestry and map to our personal geographies. They are a brick and motor reminder that no amount of technology or gloss will supplant our human need to connect with each other. These people we honor and celebrate do this on a daily basis for the good of our collective order. There is a reason why some places last, why some endure against odds and trends, gentrification and life changes. That reason for being exists in all of us, but in some it burns hot like fire.
Q. DO YOU FEATURE BUSINESSES THAT ARE CLOSED?
ANSWER - Yes! In fact, defunct businesses make the BEST shirts. That bowling alley one town over that everyone used to go to in the 80s? We'll it might have been bulldozed to make way for "progress" but the memories still live on. If we can get in touch with the owner, get the logo, the back story and some photos we can bring back that t-shirt and put money back into the pockets of those owners. What is more American than that? Great t-shirts never die. They just fade.
Q. IS DB COOPER STILL ALIVE?
ANSWER - Yes. We believe he is working part time at a TCBY in Washougal, Washington and going by the name Alan. Don't ask us how we know this. We just do.
Q. IS IT SAFE TO USE MY CREDIT CARD?
ANSWER - We use industry standard security protocols through GoDaddy and Authorize Dot Net so you can be sure that your order information and credit card details are secure. We have an in-house "heavy" that drops the hammer on anyone who messes with our customers. Some people find it barbaric but we think it's just good business.
Q. WHAT FORMS OF PAYMENT DO YOU TAKE?
ANSWER - A credit card is necessary to place orders at our online store. If you don't have a credit card we suggest you steal one from a French national. We accept Mastercard & Visa. If that's not your thing we also accept phone and mail orders. Please email anytime or call us during normal business hours (M-F 9am - 4pm PST) for more information
Q. DO YOU CHARGE SALES TAX?
ANSWER - We automatically withhold sales tax for orders delivered to addresses in Washington State. This is something "The Man" requires. In Washington State the tax withheld usually goes towards crop dusting the lowlands with Sasquatch repellant to keep the smelly bastards out of the garbage cans. Contrary to popular belief, Sasquatches are nothing but a head ache.
Q. DO YOU ACCEPT RETURNS OR EXCHANGES?
ANSWER - We are unable to accept returns or exchanges on sale merchandise. We're not sure but we think this is a universal truth. Like not running by a swimming pool with scissors and glass containers filled with angry wasps.
Q. HOW DO I CHANGE OR CANCEL MY ORDER?
ANSWER - If you need to change or cancel your order, please e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org. If your order has already shipped, you may follow the steps on our Returns & Exchanges page.
Q. HOW DO I KNOW WHAT SIZE TO BUY?
ANSWER - Seriously, did you just ask that? If you're smart enough to use the inter-web you should be smart enough to dress yourself. Check out our SIZING page for all the necessary information.
Q. WHY DO YOU NEED MY EMAIL ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER?
ANSWER - For your protection against identity theft, it's important that you provide us with a valid e-mail address and phone number when placing an order. We also like to keep our dating options open. Occasionally, we'll delay the shipment of an order pending our ability to verify it with you.
Q. WHAT DO I DO IF I RECEIVE A DEFECTIVE ITEM?
ANSWER - This is unacceptable. We'll ask you to indicate the number of items you're returning, the reason for return, and whether you would like a refund or a replacement item sent to you. Our job is to sell t-shirts, make you happy and, whenever possible, mock the French.
Q. DO YOU PROVIDE TRACKING INFORMATION?
ANSWER - Hells-Yes. A shipping confirmation email with a tracking number will be sent to you when your order has shipped. This number is not generated by a computer but by a guy named Todd who's sole job is to generate tracking numbers. He's very, very good at it. Go Todd.
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