Horses Cut Shop


Welcome to Horses Cut Shop. If you're reading this you're either paranoid, a lawyer with anger management problems or just plain bored. Either way, we hope your beverage of choice is cold. Our lawyers have advised us as to the sensitive nature of Privacy Policies and have instructed us to not play lose and fast with ours as we have the tendency to do with most things including your mother.

Horses Cut Shop LLC, is a licensed purveyor of mayhem, chaos and the kind of good times that can only be had with your pants half-way down and your free hand in the glove box a stolen car. This Privacy Policy explains what information we collect about you and how we use that information. In this Privacy Policy, "Horses Cut Shop", means this website proper EXCLUDING our shopping cart. We guard the information you provide us during your shopping experience with lawyers, guns and a stable of highly trained Appalachian battle weasels.  We will never, ever sell your personal information to anyone unless that person provides proof that Katherine Hepburn was really Jimmy Hoffa (which is a definite possibility if you smoke bath salts). The term "Personal Data" refers to personally identifiable information about you, such as your full name, birth date, e-mail address or mailing address, phone number and any other information that can be used to identify or contact you. By using The Horses Cut Shop website, you consent to the practices outlined in this Privacy Policy. Horses reserves the right to change this Privacy Policy, and if we do, any such changes will be included on this page and buried so deep that you'd really have to be flat footed, donut inhaling cop to dig so far as to find it and make a case against us in a court of law.

No Collection of Personal Data from Children under 13.

We recognize the need to provide additional privacy protections for the Personal Data of children under 13. The Children's Online Privacy and Protection Act ("COPPA") requires general audience website operators to obtain a parent's prior consent if they are knowingly collecting, using or disclosing any Personal Data from a child under 13. Horses is not directed to or intended to be used by children under 13 (or under 18 for that matter), and Horses does not knowingly collect, use or disclose any Personal Data from children under 13. In the event that we learn that we have collected personal information from a child under age 13 without verification of parental consent, we will delete that information as quickly as possible but not before selling it to the Russians. If you believe that we might have any information from or about a child under 13, please contact us at Hazelwood Bar: 206-617-8365 - Ask for Drew Church.

Personal Data Collected.

The only Personal Data Horses currently collects through the Horses Website is the Personal Data that you voluntarily provide to Horses. For example, if you purchase something from our web store you will provide us with your name, email, address and credit card info. Users of the social networking features on Horses Websites may also enter Personal Data to create a social networking page and user profile. The information on the social networking page and the user profile, including any Personal Data, will also be available to other users of Horses Websites. And since most of the people that frequent Horses Cut Shop can loosely be categorized as Genuine American Riffraff you can expect someone to launch fireworks in your direction at any moment. Even if you're from outside the USA.

Instead of creating new account information for Horses Websites, users may choose to use their existing "facebook" personal account information. If you choose to use facebook account information to gain access to Horses Websites, Horses will then be able to read and access all of your information, including Personal Data, posted on the website.

Other data that does not qualify as Personal Data because it cannot be used to contact or identify you ("Non-Personal Data") may also be collected when a user participates in certain features of the Horses Websites, or may be automatically collected about you. Bored yet? I am. I will now walk outside and follow a random person until they notice me at which point I will call a cab and head to the airport bound for Burbank, Calif. For example, Horses uses technology to automatically collect Non-Personal Data about the use of the Horses Websites. This technology is used to track things like how many users access the Horses Website, what they are wearing, the date and time of their visits, the length of their stays, and which pages they view. Horses may also use technology to determine which web browsers users use and the address from which they accessed the Websites. The information collected using this technology does not identify any user personally and is thus all Non-Personal Data that simply enables Horses to compile statistics about users and their use of the Horses Websites.

Horses uses this Non-Personal Data and may share it with third parties to improve the content and functionality of the Horses Websites, to better understand our customers and markets, and to improve our products and services. We may also use this information to provide you with targeted advertising, so that the advertisements you may see on Horses Websites are of more interest to you.


We may store certain information from your web browser using "cookies." A cookie is a piece of data stored on the user's computer tied to information about the user. We may use session-ID cookies to confirm that users are logged in. These cookies would terminate once the user closes the web browser. We may also use persistent cookies that store certain Personal Data you already provided to us to make it easier for you to log back in to Horses Websites or access your shopping cart. Cookies are used as a convenience feature for the user so quit your belly aching already. If you're panties remain in a bunch over this issue for more than 48hrs you should retain the services of a prostitute and remove or block cookies using the settings in your browser. This statement is not to be construed in any way as endorsing said services.

Use of Personal Data Collected.

Horses uses the Personal Data collected on the Websites to provide you with the requested Services. These services may include but not be limited to; dirt clod sculpting, cat tranquilizer huffing, streaking, swine castrating, fitting undersized braziers around the torsos of full grown mountain apes, and going to church.

Horses may also use the Personal Data to contact you for a variety of reasons, such as but not limited to notifying you about upcoming events, offering you additional products or services, or requesting your feedback on Horses Websites. We also may just call you at inappropriate hours using a foreign accent and inquiring about the whereabouts of a certain package that is making the Columbians very, very nervous. Even if you opt-out of certain contacts, Horses may still contact you about any problems or issues with your personal account, social networking page or user profile.

Disclosure of Personal Data Collected.

Horses will only disclose Personal Data to third parties when (a) it is reasonably necessary to provide you with the Services, (b) you have authorized the disclosure, (c) if required or authorized to do so by law or (d) we are fairly confident that doing so will get you laid big time.

For example, when you choose to use the social networking features of Horses Websites, it is necessary for Horses to disclose the information on your social networking page and your user profile information, including Personal Data, to other users of Horses Websites. Without disclosure of this information, no one could contact you and there would be no social networking feature. Any User Content (as defined in the Terms of Service) you post to Horses Websites will also be available to other users. By participating in the social networking features, you are also giving Horses permission to include you in its RSS feed features, which allow other users to get updates on your social networking page and user profile. For example, if you add your favorite movie or restaurant to your user profile, users who are subscribed to your RSS feed will be notified of this change in your user profile. This feature will also allow other users to see how you are using the Websites. You use the social networking features and post User Content at your own risk. Horses is not responsible for security or privacy breaches that may result from your use of the social networking features or posting User Content to Horses Websites.

Horses may also disclose Personal Data to third parties if a user has requested that Horses do so. The Horses Websites may offer users opportunities to request disclosure of Personal Data to third parties. For example, users may have the ability to request through the Horses Websites that certain third parties send them information. In that case, Horses would disclose the user's full name and email address or mailing address so that the third party can send the user the requested information.

Horses may also disclose Personal Data to its affiliates, contractors and partners, who will use the Personal Data in compliance with this Privacy Policy. We may sell, rent, give or otherwise share your personal information with Horses's successors, assigns, affiliates and other related third parties. Horses may also disclose Personal Data if required or authorized to do so by law.

Security Measures.

Horses uses industry standard security measures to protect your Personal Data, such as Incan fighting pigeons, tooth brushes which are really rusty wire brushes from the civil war that have been marinating in the sewers beneath Manhattan and Nick Ciccerelli. While such security measures provide reasonable protections against unauthorized access, they provide no guarantee that your Personal Data will not be compromised.

Links to Other Websites.

This Privacy Policy applies only to Personal Data collected on the Horses Website. The Horses Website may contain hyperlinks to websites that are not operated by Horses. These hyperlinks are provided for your reference and convenience only and do not imply any endorsement of the activities of these third-party websites or any association with their operators. Horses does not control these websites and is not responsible for their data practices. We urge you to review the privacy policy posted on any website you visit before using the website or providing any Personal Data about yourself.

Questions About Our Privacy Policy.

If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy or concerns about the way Horses processes your Personal Data, please go have a drink somewhere and take it easy for the love of Pete.

Here we are in the social bucket of your choice. Choose wisely and stay mint.